Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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