google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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