Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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