I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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