whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
