We got so high we made milksteak
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
