I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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