Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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