Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
