another moral hangover. fuck.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
