Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
