The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
