Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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