i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize