let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
