I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
soo... how was my night?
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