Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
