My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
