I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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