Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
