I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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