It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
