Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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