Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
