ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
