Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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