I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
