Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
you had me at cake vodka
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
