is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
