I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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