also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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