You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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