butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
