I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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