its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
