I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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