Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
