just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
