I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just googled if crying burns calories
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
