at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
