Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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