I'm going to jail i love you
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
