I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
