SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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