i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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