If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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