windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
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