I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize