Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
