If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
zippers are such a cool invention
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
