My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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