I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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