He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
