Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So apparently I’m into choking now
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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