i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
