Sry I called you an 8
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
