I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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