one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
