What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
