totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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