no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize