ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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