Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
even my farts smell like vagina
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
