Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize